Nine Facebook Realizations

1. People without a picture are lazy or ugly or both. Trust me, no one looks like a question mark.
2. I don’t want your fucking slayers invitations. Nobody wants them. So pretty please, stop this crap.
3. Girls look much better on facebook than “on” uniform.
4. What’s up with girls that don’t list relationship status? Or “interested in”. Or birth year. It’s hard enough to pick your signals anyway, so what am I supposed to think when all you say is “Born: May 15th”???
5. How come there are so many incredibly hot, Jewish chicks from USA who are friends of my friends? I know my friends - that makes no sense at all! Are you playing with me, Mark?
6. Oh, and I’ve been to the other side now: you see a hot Jewish chick from USA who’s a friend of your friend – it’s a bot. Fucking geeks, make it look so real.
7. Ever thought “I just want to get a list of all the girls where I live, ordered by their hotness in descending order”?? It’s there, and it’s called the “hot or not” application. Install it, go to “my scoreboards” and pick your network from the dropdown list. Filter by preferred gender.
8. You know you’re getting old when it takes you an extra second to recognize the girl from high-school because she got married and changed her last name.
9. Don’t recycle status-humor. You think I can’t go to “see all” and realize that 7 of you bastards wrote “updating his/her status”??

p.s. I’m not a sexist. Just replace “girl” with “boy” where you want.