Packing List

Always ready. Motto of the Soviet Pioneers Youth Organization_._

My Official Packing List (Microft Excel 2003 based, of course) contains exactly 62 items.

Here, as a free-of-charge pashabitz.com service, I provide a pictorial overview of some of the most important, must-have items for your next South America journey. With commentary, by me.

South American Handbook 2005, a.k.a. The Holy Bible (pictured left). Don’t leave your El Calafate dacha without it. If you don’t know Pucon from Bacon, start here. Also wonderful for holding out doors when it’s windy and for making chairs for smaller children higher so they (the children) can reach the table.

The IRiver hp120 (pictured right) hard disk based MP3 portable player. Mucho musical can be packed in this wonderful device, for those long 20-hour bus rides. Connects via the ubiquitous USB port. Also can store porn. But no screen, that’s in the later models, so you can’t watch it on the go. Will be stolen from me pretty quickly.

Shoes, a pair, size 43 and one third. Lock, with combination.

Great for walking, slightly running, and other land based activities. May be admitted to a good restaurant with, though not without a bribe.

Locks - don’t take the ones with keys. You’ll lose them or drop them inside an active volcano (and then they’re lost anyway). Instead use an unbreakable three digit combination, giving you, hmm, 10-bit strength I guess. Unbreakable.

Dexamol (tm) pills, yellow. Great for ass pain tze-tze fly stings mixing with cheap rum head ache.

Biffe de Lomo money, in local cash. Provided by the big Or, to pass as-is to the waiter for the fattest peace of cow there. Order pre-written on the envelope.

Real Old-City-Jerusalem crosses, David Shields, plates with pictures of Fish and Chips. Or was it Fish and Bread? Hand out to your local friends you’ll acquire along the way, as a sign of gratitude.

I (pictured left), will carry the goods.

Plastic cup, plastic plate (medium depth), matching colors (in support of the Dutch national football team and the orange growers).

Knife, fork, spoon.

Will be used for eating meals on a trek. A trek is a place you go where there are no people everyone’s a tourist, so no one makes food for you.

MasterCard with the “Hever” consumer club membership. Nothing like flashing it at the strip club doorman in Ushuaia and getting the 5% off because you’re a vet.